oooh eeerrr...second hand clothes

Second hand stuff…but who had it first?
 

 Everyone knows that buying clothes from a second hand shop is sooo much cooler than just going to a shop and buying a new item of clothing. Second hand stuff is cheaper so that’s good, but it also freaks me out. It’s not just like second hand furniture, its actual material that’s been pressed against another person’s body. A body that sweats and stuff. And a body belonging to a person that I don’t know. Most people can put that out of their mind and that’s great – that’s why they are normal and I am not. It’s the not knowing of who’s body wore those clothes that is the issue. If I am given clothes by someone else that I know then it’s fine… assuming they appear to be a nice clean human being.

But just say for instance that those cool funky jeans you bought from the second hand shop, let’s just say the previous owner was not a fan of underpants. I don’t know, you never know? I love pants, can’t get enough of them, well, one pair a day suffices, but I hear that not everyone loves wearing pants. Are you really okay with that, you’ll never know right, but that’s exactly the problem, how can I be sure that my second hand jeans were always worn with underpants on?!!! God forbid.
 

Let’s veer away from the focus on underpants, take for instance, the fab funky new top from the second hand store, what if the previous owner had BO, what if they were just dirty, I know I know, you just wash the clothes, but there’s always that feeling that not the full essence is ever really gone. Don’t say you can’t understand, I’ll give a better example….your nan dies in a car crash (Sorry I didn’t mean for this to be a morbid disturbing example…but I won’t bring underpants back into this I promise), and she is wearing a cardy, a real nice woollen one, and she dies. (sorry this isn’t real- all hypothetical) and afterwards your mum washes the cardy and says hey do you want this cardy? There was some blood on it and stuff but I’ve washed it off. Would you be happy to wear it, or would you be like ugh no? If you’d wear it I think you’re a bit weirder than me, but I would say that.
 

And so I’m sort of uncomfortable with second hand stuff from total strangers. Even if it’s been washed lots. But footwear, footwear is sort of worse, the amount of sweating that happens in your footwear, it’s pretty nasty, can shoes and trainers even be properly washed? I saw some trainers (Velcro one’s believe it or not- see previous post regarding love of Velcro) on ebay and I love them so much but they’d been worn before, they were so nice and so cheap and hey really who cares if I put my foot in a used shoe, I’ll have a sock on and my feet will sweat too, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle the second hand shoes.

killer whales....the horror

I’ve got a severe phobia of killer whales, just writing the word upsets me, as now I have an image in my head. It’s always a smug one. I think the only face they have is a smug one. In fact I’m going to have to cut this blog post short because it’s making me think of killer whales too much. I might come back to it at some point. Shudder.

I got chased by a killer whale once. True story, serious, a real one. It might explain my issues, I’ll explain the story soon.

Dirty stickers :-/

Most of the things about me which are weird I think are normal. I think the rest of the world is weird for being different from me. It’s pretty odd living in a world where you find something unbearable but the rest of the world are cool with it. That’s right, I’m talking about dirty stickers. I hear you…‘what do you mean, why dirty stickers? Why just the dirty ones?’. Well there is irony in my phobia of dirty stickers, because I love clean stickers…(just a warning now this post really might confuse..just think how I feel- I live with this brain that loves clean stickers and hates dirty ones).

Clean stickers brand new from the shop on a nice clean plastic sheet are great, I like them a lot because there are stickers of monkeys and butterflys and fairies and funny animals and all sorts of lovely things that I like. In fact I’ll have you know that I carry around a clean sheet of stickers in my bag such that whenever I might need one I have one…e.g., if a friend is having a bad day I reach into my bag, retrieve a cute sticker (at the moment I have animal ones- so for instance I give said friend a lovely cute koala sticker and walah they are thrilled- and perhaps a tad weirded out), and stickers have made the world a better place on those occasions.

But dirty stickers are different. they make me feel icky. I get the idea that it’s quite comparable to people who hate cotton wool, it’s more of a severe cringe rather than a phobia.

But just think of the horrible unseen germs that are attached to the sticky side of the sticker…eewww, and when they peel around.

The worst are fruit stickers,  I don’t know why- I think it’s because I have to peel them off something I want to eat, and they are reeeaaally sticky.

I hear you shout… ‘but how does this even affect your life!?’ well you’d be surprised…small child relatives…(you know those funny little people who hang around when you visit home) – they like to reuse stickers over and over again (you can detect the dirty ones as they become a cylinder shape, they like to stick them on you and you have to grin and act grateful when really you want to scream get it off me!!! The sticker, not the child.

Then there are the professional situations in which you have to wear a sticker with your name on, if I go for a job interview and am asked to apply a sticker with my name on and I reply ‘Oh no sorry I can’t I’ve got sticker issues’ I think my chances of getting that job might be decreased…in fact those stickers are actually clean and I don’t like them. Oh dear.

So rest of world…why do you all have no problems with stickers?? Or do you, do you just deal with it? Am I a weirdo?

Long Live Velcro

 My first post! this is an important post, it might even change the world. I’m talking about the Velcro revolution! Yes. Not heard of it yet? That’s because it hasn’t happened... the world needs to read this post first!

So I think Velcro is pretty awesome…first of all Velcro provides a nice sound right? Laces don’t even make a sound! Rubbish.

In all aspects of my life I like practicality, I’ll take the zip up jacket rather than the one with zillions of buttons..it makes my life that bit easier. I’d drive an automatic car rather than one with gears, I’ll ride a bike rather than walking. So why on earth would I spend the time doing up shoe laces when I can have Velcro ones????

I hear you:

‘only children have Velcro shoes because they can’t tie laces…only old people have Velcro shoes because their hips and backs can’t withstand them bending down to tie laces, well here’s some news for you- my back is a bit achey sometimes too!…and I liked being a kid when things were simpler!

Velcro is so much easier to fasten…I hear you again…. ‘why don’t you just wear slip on shoes?’….hahaha don’t make me laugh! The function of laces is to tighten said shoe for comfort and practicality…slip ons very often lack this! You can’t get a tight snug fit in the shoe without some form of fastening…and so now I introduce the one and only and too often forgotten VELCRO. All shoes or at least lots more shoes for adults (not just kids and grannies) should have velcro fastens.

I’d also like to clarify that I DO know how to tie laces…honest.

I, of course being a huge supporter and advocator of Velcro footwear am the proud owner of many Velcro fastened shoes..and very nice (and dare I say cool-actually maybe I’m not cool) ones. There was a time, long, long ago (about 3 or 4 years to be precise) when Velcro started to make an appearance in popular shoe/trainer shops such as office, schuh, faith, vans (I know because I bought them all), not only were they Velcro and by virtue easy to put on and off and comfortable, but they generally had heart patterns and unicorns and butterfly patterns on them…which funnily enough is just what I like!!! (brings a tear to my eye just thinking about how beautiful they all were) And it was a good time in my life. But now these Velcro trainers have nearly disappeared from the world. And all the ones I own are dying long and painful soul destroying (hah hah-sorry had to be done) deaths, and what am I supposed to do-convert to lace up shoes or slip ons!!!? Are you mad? Did you not just read the above.

My only remaining option is to search ebay for people’s second hand Velcro fastened footwear, and that I have hygiene issues with…(in fact my hygiene issues in relation to second hand clothes and footwear in particular is probably worthy of another weird thing about me blog).

So I ask you this world…why are you not willing to wear Velcro shoes, what is it that you enjoy about the extra effort involved in putting on lace up shoes every day? If I offer you lace up clothes would you prefer them, would you rather lace up your jumper at the sides or simply place it over your head!?

So again, I appear to be weird in my love of Velcro footwear, but I see myself as normal and the lace loving, Velcro hating rest of the world as weird.

Here’s to Velcro, forever loved for your practicality and ease. I’ll stick with you forever.

 I will soon upload some pictures of lovely Velcro footwear!!

Bye for now, littlelizzie