Killer whale phobia explained

Returning to the killer whale story – I’m feeling brave today! Prepare yourself this is a long story!

So as far as I’m aware the first time I ever really got scared by killer whales was when the film free willy came out, my sister loved that film and so it used to be on in my house a lot, I used to watch it hidden behind a cushion as I was a bit scared. However it wasn’t until a real life encounter that I truly shat myself. Again, I can’t understand why the rest of the world aren’t completely freaked out by killer whales too! They’ve got the big white eye patches which just look like mahoosive googly eyes. Even if I draw a bad picture of a killer whale it genuinely really scares me (hence the picture further on took a lot of effort).

 You know how when you’re really afraid of something you kind of want to see it!?? People like scary films because it’s a bit of a rush with all the adrenalin, it’s like going on big roller coaster rides. So part of me was secretly much more eager than anyone else in my family to go to marine land while on our holiday in the south of france. Off we went to marine land, before we had even gone in I was a bit shaken up because I was surrounded by pictures of killer whales and kids walking round with big plush toy killer whales. It’s a bit like going to a shrine of something that you’re afraid of, most phobias don’t really have that, I’ve never heard of the dirty sticker factory for instance (although going to see my niece and nephews is almost equivalent to a visit to the dirty sticker factory anyway - you leave with lots of free dirty sticker stuck on you). So returning to the story, you can imagine that I’m already feeling pretty anxious.

We started off just looking at the friendly penguins, then on to the dolphins, lovely dolphins, I’ve even swam with them on another occasion (that was pretty terrifying too- no one is ever supposed to admit that about dolphins but really for me it was a case of KEEP ON SMILING - mum and dad have paid a fortune for this, whether you poo your pants or not you are getting in there with those giant razor sharp beaked giant fish…awww sigh lovely dolphins).

So we sat down to wait for the dolphin show to start, but I didn’t feel like sitting still and waiting so I thought I’d just pop and see the sea lions in the meantime and then come back to our seats soon.

People like dolphins and so it turns out that nearly everyone in marine land was waiting for the dolphin show to start, great I thought, nice and quiet for me to go and see the sea lions, so off I went, then I saw a side entrance that looked like it lead somewhere so I took a look and saw a huge tank…I thought cool! I’ll go this way, what a big tank for some sea lions…to be fair to me if there were going to be killer whales in there you’d expect there to be a big sign right?? Well not at the side entrance there wasn’t, there was also no one else around yet.

So I walked up to the tank, it was a glass tank so you could see through it which is pretty cool, I had a good close up look through the glass and then from my periphery I see this huge big smug blur of black with these huge white eyes! (I know I know, those aren’t its actual eyes but they’re terrifying – think of the scream mask and then think of a killer whale! Resemblance eh!!?) I think some daredevil little part of me must have thought beforehand that just maybe there could be killer whales in that tank, but when that killer whale swam toward me I was terrified. Now, in these situations you kind of forget that the glass will protect you…my brain reacts like this…huge massive killer whale swimming at you = PANIC and get away from it right now!

 I had two options, I either ran back along the path back to the way I came in – a much shorter distance yes – but also in the direction that this killer whale is coming, or I run away, following the path around the tank, naturally that’s what I did. But killer whales can swim faster than I can run funnily enough, so I basically have a killer whale swimming closer and closer, it feels like it's chasing me, until this killer whale is swimming alongside me with his big smug face, and let me tell you they are big. It was horror. The picture below will give you a better idea, and it’s pretty accurate too!

I made it back to my mum and family (that’s right, it didn’t manage to jump out and eat me! Pheewwey!), none of them cared one bit, but I calmed down watching the dolphin show. Later on we actually went to watch the killer whale show, we sat quite far back and there was a bit in the show where they asked kids to go and stand at the side of the tank so the whale could splash them, my mum gave me a nudge to go down and I gave her that look that said ‘don’t you f***ing let them take me mum, don’t you dare!’ And that was that.

I’ve been terrified of killer whales ever since, but okay you probably think well apart from marine land when is your fear of killer whales ever going to affect your life!? Oh ho ho!!! You would not believe…so I’ll tell you!

People can’t get enough of killer whales!

They are on the tv all of the time! e.g., planet earth, free willy AND free willy 2 are on all the time (fortunately friends will go out of their way to send me text warnings when it's on). My fear also generalises to pictures too and you’d be surprised how many pictures there are! It’s a nightmare..there are many unexpected killer whale surprises. e.g. watching a nice fun episode of IT crowd and then bam it's ruined....see picture below. You don't see them because you are normal, I DO!!! :(

One of the worst things are the big blow up killer whales you can buy on holiday to go in the sea! Before I can go in the sea I have to scan for children riding on blow up killer whale inflatables.

When it’s dark at night and I walk along the river by my house my imagination gets carried away and I expect one to jump out of the water….so I have to take an alternate route home for this very reason…you probably think that’s a lie – it isn’t. sob.

So that’s my irrational killer whale phobia explained.

Am I weird?